I have to set something straight.
After just getting into a relationship a younger friend of 14 years old congratulated me and proceeded to say “I wish I had a boyfriend.”
I asked her why she wanted one.
“Because I want someone to make me feel special.”
My heart instantly fell. This shocked me as boyfriends were never something I NEEDED and certainly not at 14. Heck, I’m surprised it happened at 18.
I pictured myself at 14, and how public figures aimed at me effected me and how I thought. As I progress into a public career in the entertainment industry it’s inevitable that people will look up to me. And THE LAST thing I have ever wanted is for girls to think, “Well, Dorothy Marie has a boyfriend, I want one too. I need one to make me feel special.”
To all single people out there, old and young alike- You do not need a boyfriend to feel special.
Quite honestly, if you got a boyfriend who truly believes you are special, no matter what he says you still may not believe it. Being “special” is not defined by boyfriends, friends, peer approval, circumstances, or looks.
We find our identity in Christ no matter what. As much as I hate to say it-people will always fail you. As I’m learning, relationships are a beautiful thing when the people in them are seeking Jesus. And yes, being with someone can show you things you never thought you’d see-including having things you never thought were special about yourself revealed. It feels great, but it means nothing without a God and Savior to back it all up. As much importance as we put on what other people say, it doesn't matter one bit if they are not speaking truth into your life.
I’m writing this because I did not spend all those years before I wore eyeliner being ignored, or that time at summer camp when all the girls were talking to cute rugby boys and I had my capris and ponytail as I stayed in the back, all to sit back and allow my current situation to make anyone else feel bad. I've been that 14 year old who wanted to feel special and I found out that I didn't need a boyfriend to figure out that I was. All I needed was a Man who died for me and who took the time to walk through every. single. heartbreak. A Man who is with me and lets me know that no matter what He is not letting go and has chosen me to be a part of His family. Now that I have a boyfriend, that same Man is using my boyfriend to speak truth into my life in even more ways. And that is sacred, special, and something worth waiting for.
I’m not writing this to downplay relationships, because I’m learning that they are not something to be downplayed. I’m writing this to encourage anyone who is where I was for so long- alone and wondering if you’ll ever be loved. You already are. And, if it’s best for you, He’ll give you someone to “make you feel special” in new ways. If not, you are still worth more than anyone knows (no one knows because it is still being revealed in you) and He has another plan for showing those things to you. Don’t give up on yourself because Jesus never has and never will. Don’t settle for anything less than His absolute best because it’s not worth it.
YOU are worth it, not because of what you've done or what anyone says, but because of what you ARE: His.