"For I was envious of the boastful.."

It’s funny how people turn out.  Growing up I was the black sheep-everyone’s family in my conservative baptist church were perfect homeschooled 8-kid families.  They went to church on Sunday, outreach club in the afternoons, and let’s not forget wednesday service (my family never quite found time for that).  Their parents had perfect marriages whereas my parents fought all the time. My Dad didn’t always come to church. Sometimes he drank.  My Mom had to go to work in the evenings. We listened to The Beatles and watched TV. I wore pants.  Something was always wrong with me growing up.  I always felt beneath everyone because my family were sinners and everyone else seemed perfect.

But I grew up, and things changed.  That couple who did marriage counseling had their own marriage fall apart.  That person who you always thought knew everything about God attempted suicide.  That perfect pastors kid was abused and no one knew anything about it for years. One of the girls from my childhood got pregnant out of wedlock.  Some kids turned away from God altogether. Some are plagued by awful relationships where they keep trying to find love in places that just won’t fill them up. That perfect business man fell into pedophelia.  Some cut. Some curse. Some smoke. Others got that stable family life, with a husband and kids. Or they got to travel like they always wanted to, or become a doctor, or maybe they gave up on the ones they were trying to encourage.

These are all things that were different then my “perfect” perception of Christianity, but that’s the thing. Christianity isn’t perfect. Jesus came to save imperfect people- people who spent their entire childhood pretending that life was perfect and sweeping the real problems under the rug as well as people who felt like the underdog their whole life. It turns out I’m not as different from everyone else as I once thought.

This afternoon this song by Francesca Battistelli came on shuffle and reminded me of what we really deal with in life. We need to be sensitive to real life and continuously push against the temptation to assume everyone is ok, because they’re not.  So take the time to ask how someone is really doing. Don’t assume that the perfect family in church is…well…perfect.  Make sure nothing funky is happening underneath.  We can’t uncover everything, God and time does that. Every quiet victory, every dirty deed, and every silent sorrow will be brought to light. The humble will be exalted and the evildoers will find their end. He promised. (Psalm 73)

"Behind The Scenes" by Francesca Battistelli

You may think I'm just fine
How could anything ever be out of line?
I take my time to set the stage
Make sure everything is all in place

Even though I've got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words

Things aren't always what they seem
You're only seeing part of me
There's more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes

I'm incomplete and I'm undone
But I suppose like everyone
There's so much more that's going on
Behind the scenes

Sometimes I can't see anything
Through the dark surrounding me
And at times I'm unsure about the ground
Beneath my feet, if it's safe and sound

When it's hard to find hope in the unseen
I have peace in knowing it will find me, yeah

Things aren't always what they seem
You're only seeing part of me
There's more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes

I'm incomplete and I'm undone
But I suppose like everyone
There's so much more that's going on
Behind the scenes

Things aren't always what they seem
You're only seeing part of me
There's more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes

I'm incomplete and I'm undone
But I suppose like everyone
There's so much more that's going on
Behind the scenes

You may think I'm just fine
How could anything ever be out of line?